Short visit here. Im taking my paed exam on 14th June, another 2 days. But whatever, there is nothing much to talk about. I had enough haha.
There is one thing running in my mind at this time. Its about people emotion. Why? Random. So currently, my grandpa live in my house since yes its ramadhan, plus my mom have her 2weeks holiday so its better for him. Well you know atleast his sahur and berbuka foods are well managed. But this week he gonna move to my aunt house since she got her cuti bersalin. Another 3 days i guess then he will move there.
My point is, atuk is rarely talk about his emotion. I never see any of his emotion or comments on particular event or situation. Except i was told by my family that he did cried when my grandma passed away.
So im thinking about his emotion. Yes, he is now almost 80 years old. But having to move here and there, being away from home, i dont know how he accept the situation because he is soo quiet about it.
How one perceived changes of life?
Wan passed away. He had the dramatic changes in his life. He had to move, if not my father have to send him breakfast or lunch everyday before going to work, so he have to leave early like really early because its quite a distance from his workplace to my atuk's.
And how he sees the situation? I mean how do people keep living?
I dont know if im in that place to talk about this. But, i think my atuk really had nothing to cherish. His wife is now gone. I dont think his relatives are calling him on daily basis or visit him, and im not sure about his sons. He doesnt have friends. Im being honest here. You know my atuk is typical man from those early years yang garang gila and anak-anak takut and the relationship seems cold? I mean they are okay but they seriously dont talk about emotions or whatever about their life progression. I dont know it is because of they are all men or because of the past.
I remember last semester, my atuk actually wanted to call my aunt but he mischose the contact number since both of us are called 'adik' but i really had a long convo with him.
And we seriously talk about pokok the whole convo.
He sounds happy.
He need to be heard.
i think he is sad at one point, or he doesnt care. Everytime i asked my mom what he's doing, the answer gonna be sleeping.
He have nothing to achieve anymore.
Ugh i dont know.
I dont know how this raya gonna be.
I dont know. I just want atuk to be happy.
I cant help to think that at one rate people really gonna reach that saturated point where they have nothing to achieve,nothing to cherish and everything is meaningless.
You - alone.
And i think its quite scary. I dont know whether i gonna reach that state but i lowkey dont want it to be happened, because it means that i got no family left or there is no love left. Its all dry. Ughh.
To the point we just wait until, we die..
Me and my deep thought. End up i hurt myself lol
Anyway pray for me for those who read this.
-- and im sorry if im not replying to your fb msg regarding the yayasan bank rakyat thinggy. First, your im came when i was toooo busy and i forgot to reply, second, the question is so irrelevant. Im sorry but are you really asking me about technical mistake u made? How do i know to settle that? You should call their hotline instead. If i answer you guys with sorry, idk i might hurt people feeling.
So, goodbye. Have a nice day !
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Edited :
Right after i posted this entry i callled my mom and ask for atuk. Hahaa.
That smile :)
